The Hidden Part

This story tries to explain the inexplicable....the thoughts—the crazy, sane, loud, inaudible thoughts—of an anorexic struggling to hide her struggles. It is the story of the silent, but it will not be our story, for we will speak up.

She was a normal girl, or at least she appeared to be. She went out with friends on Friday nights, binge-watched shows on Netflix, and kept up with all the latest trends. Except, this part of her was merely the tip of the iceberg; the small portion of her ego she made vulnerable to society.

Her true self, the Hidden Part, was buried deep within the realms of her mind. The Hidden Part had experienced suffering; its eyes were dark, its heart was cold. The Hidden Part was far from normal; it had dealt with loss deeper than the hole in its fragile heart, mental institutions akin to Auschwitz, and the refusal of nourishment. The last thing it wanted to do was go out with friends on Friday nights. It had no interest in keeping up with the latest trends. It was occupied with the desire to starve, for it was not worthy of life.

She is the Hidden Part, the Hidden Part is she.

She conceals her identity like a cloud eclipses the sun.

She disposes of diamonds, for everything is worthless.

She prays morning does not succeed the night.

She tries to escape the inescapable.

She is dead inside, a body without a soul.

She remains motionless in her abysmal catalepsy.

She is a volcano without lava demanding to fissure.

She is a gravedigger arranging for her own demise.

One evening, the “normal” girl came home from a friend’s party, exhausted of living a lie. Her friends wished things like meeting celebrities or becoming famous, but she wished to destroy the Hidden Part, to be part of normality. Trying to hide the Hidden Part became too much of a burden—it was time to dispose of it once and for all. A blade pierced through her skin, trying to unleash the darkness inside of her. But she forgot that the Hidden Part was a Pandora’s Box; once opened, all evils would prevail. The blood poured from her body, like currents of water flowing down the cataract, like her soul falling into an eternal abyss.

She was buried with the Hidden Part. After all, she was the Hidden Part. A carcass was all that remained. She was not missed for no one noticed her existence.